Trials Blog - Me and my big mouth - Trials UK

Trials Blog - Me and my big mouth

• 30th January 2011
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Firstly, I'm having a really busy time with work right now, so apologies that my blog posts are so far apart. I'll try to give you a quick update on the last couple of weeks, then explain the utter tonking I received in today's trial from Rick. (Yay for Rick-Watch fans - today's a biggie!). For those eager spud watchers, it's bad news again as I think the knacker-whacking season is over. My spuds are intact and, for the first time in a long time, disappointingly un-swollen.

Best put the kettle on and get comfy, cos this is going to be a long 'un.

So, let's go back to last weekend and the practice session I had with a few of the lads. We go to practice stream riding - I'm with Kev, Clive, Rick and Johnny. Of the 5 of us, I am the one who is both the most accident prone (previous blogs will confirm this) as well as being the least capable. Rick has clearly been practising with elder brother Clive, distant relative Adam Raga and bezzie mate Toni Bou. The man has turned into a potential trials champion since he bought his new bike and is doing things in such a smooth and professional manner that I am beginning to look like a complete noob. More on Rick later.

So, because Kev, Johnny and Clive are skilled, quality riders and Rick has clearly had a complete blood transfusion, taking 8 pints from a donor by the name of Mr A Cabastany, the sections they set up are just about doable for me but are very challenging. I have a go at the first one and paddle my way round. Same with the second and the 3rd.

Foolishly, I thought I would have a go at getting up a steep bit of banking. Ordinarily, it wouldn't have been a problem as I have climbed bigger when out with Gareth so, I faced it, revved hard, let out the clutch and set off up the bank. I failed to see that the top of it it was slightly under-cut, so as I hit the top the bike went vertical, I left it and gravity took over. The back wheel caught and bang, clatter, clunk and it's up to the Van to get the spanners out to straighten the front end out. 10 minutes later, we're back on it.

Between sections, Rick was trying to get over a big rock in the middle of the 15 foot wide, 12 inch deep stream. The rock stood 14 - 18 inches out of the water, so was probably 2' 6" tall. Not impossible, but made harder by the fact that  there was a slight slope as you approached the rock. Rick got over it - un-stylishly, but over it all the same. Peer pressure being what it is, I couldn't let this happen without having a go meself, so rolled into the stream to have a try. Same as Rick, I got over, but un-stylishly. I was determined to get it right so tried again. This time, taking the right hand line I screwed up totally and went to put my foot down. Nothing. I was so far over to the right of the rock that my leg went down and down until it hit the bottom of the deepest part of the stream. I left the bike and ended up face down, fully submerged in two foot of water. The bike followed me in and, of course, started sucking in water instead of air.

Kev was quick to react, bless him. He was already off his bike so he chucked his helmet to the ground and leapt into the water to pick up my now gurgling, drowning Gasser. As he got it upright it spluttered to a coughing halt. The engine was FULL of water and the piston had turned into a hydraulic system.

Thank God Clive was there. Being a mechanic he understands engines, so as he and Kev did their best to empty the bike of water, I just stood there, piss wet through from head to toe and shook like a cheap flat pack wardrobe. I was dripping - everything was wet and water dripped from my helmet for a good 20 minutes. Worst of all, I was bloody freezing.

Rick did several journeys up and down the hill to get tools from the van and, for some reason, Johnny made enquiries as to whether the bike was insured (3rd party, fire and flood?). Half an hour later and the bike somehow coughed back into life. The lads, having had it in bits, had dried it out sufficiently to get me riding again. Hats off and big thanks to all concerned for not just shrugging their shoulders and saying "tough shit, Mike".

I stayed wet for the next 3 hours. I loved it, but squelched my way through every subsequent section, convinced I was on a hat-trick and was going to do some more damage to either me or the bike. As it happened, I didn't. We'd had a good day and I looked forward to the following weekend's trial. 

During the week, the bike went in to Trials UK where the engine was stripped, dried and rebuilt by young Factory John. Whilst there I got the exhaust repacked, a new front tyre fitted and the end section of the exhaust replaced (this poor thing has, over the last 18 months, taken a severe beating and was holding on by the skin of its teeth. It had no life left in it at all so I had to get it fixed).

So, on to this weeks Horsforth DMC Trial at Deer Park in Bingley.

Even though the trial wasn't to start until 11am, I got there nice and early - around 9.30am. I met up with Clive and his younger brother, Takahisa Fujinami. Together we walked round the first 5 or 6 sections and, during the walk round, I couldn't help thinking it all looked a bit too easy. Of course, made the mistake of saying this out loud. Well, this moment of utter madness was to bite me on the arse, well and truly...

I rode like a compete and utter knob for the first half of the trial today, dropping the most ridiculous marks in places where I simply shouldn't have. By the end of the first lap, where young Fujigas had gone round in 1 (1 FFS!), I was sitting on something like 12. I was in for a complete and utter whooping from the champion elect.

Today was going to be the most thorough spanking of all time and I think it's time to graciously admit defeat in the Mike vs Rick Championship. He's simply become too good, whilst I have remained at a level just above crap. I heartily applaud you Rick Armistead. You were a worthy adversary, but I am no longer able to compete. Today your undoubted class shone through.

But hold the back page! There could be a new competition brewing. Russ-watch!

Yes, purely by accident I've started riding round with a chap called Russ Brodie. We're both (well) over 40, we're both about the same standard and we both sit shoulder to shoulder on the league tables, scoring around the same marks as each other. Game on Brodie!

Russ-watch could be the new crowd puller! Watch this space.

UPDATE: The scores are in. Rick went round in a remarkable 5 points - I scored a respectable 21. Russ scored just 16 points.

Game definitely on!